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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Gone, boy

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Girl meets boy online. They talk for a month, then text for another. Girl and boy have much in common. They make each other laugh. They text every day.

Girl meets boy offline. They have a great time, they laugh, they converse. Girl is sorry it has to end so soon, but she has plans that night. Boy asks girl to do this again. Of course she agrees. They continue to text every day, and send each other funny emails. Girl really likes boy, but isn't sure if he's into her romantically.

Girl meets boy for second date. They have lunch, they laugh, they have a good time. They go out for coffee, conversation, find more in common, then a movie. Boy holds girl's hand during the movie. Girl knows the attraction is mutual. They laugh laugh laugh. Boy holds girl's hand after the movie, on the way to the car, in the car, on the way to her place.

Girl finally kisses boy, and he enthusiastically kisses her back. For six hours, they kiss, laugh, talk, tease, and roll around in her bed, shirts off. Girl doesn't fuck boy, and boy doesn't even try. Girl feels a chemistry so intense it must be mutual. Boy's gaze never leaves hers, he swoons over her beauty, body, clothes, makeup, and his pants remain too tight. Boy caresses her face, kisses her softly, then passionately, and softly again. Sweetly, then hotly. Girl feels something is starting. Girl, despite knowing better, starts to feel hopeful.

Then boy must depart. He has a full-time job in the morning. Kids. A busy life. They kiss sweetly and he departs with a smile. Boy doesn't text that night. He doesn't ask "we will do this again, yes?"

Girl is not concerned at first. He's busy. He clearly likes her. But then boy stops answering all of her texts, and then it's two days before he answers any at all. Then three. Girl asks boy to meet. Boy is busy both days. Boy never follows up. Now it's been almost two weeks since that second date. The last message from girl was that she was feeling down due to an injury that's left her unable to work, exercise, or really do much of anything. Boy never responded. It's been three days.

Girl knows herself, so deletes his number. She wants to email boy and ask hey, what happened? Something has obviously changed with boy, and she really likes boy, and this really hurts. She thought he liked her too. She doesn't share her body that way otherwise. Girl is stuck at home, unable to do anything but think and endure narcotic-fuelled dreams and take clumsy showers and type 10 words per minute. Girl can't help but wonder: was he just using her for something to jerk off to later? Is boy just another cleverly-disguised pig interested in her boobs and nothing else? Did he fake that emotion? Did he meet someone else? Did she do or say something? Is he just hoping she'll go away so he doesn't have to let her down?

Girl is afraid of the answer, and the hope has died. The death of hope always makes girl cry. She knows better. Love just does not happen for her. Girl never gets the boy she wants.

Girl misses boy, and wonders how she could have been so wrong. Girl thought she and boy were friends, on their way to more. Girl feels like a fool, but she shouldn't. All evidence, and the boy, led her here.

Just pull the fucking bandage off, boy. Girl already knows you're gone.

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